Tear-Stained Mosaic
by hotaru anne
Summary: *SPOILERS!* I'm taking a time out from my "Acts of the Bold" story. Vaughn's reaction from the information Jack revealed in "The Confession"


Title: Tear-Stained Mosaic  
From series: Alias  
Author: hotaru anne  
Email: silentsenshi@hotmail.com  
Date started: 01/07/2002  
Date accomplished:   
Genre of fiction: drama/alias  
Major characters: Michael Vaughn, Sydney Bristow  
Summary: Vaughn reacts to what he's learned who killed his father.   
Note: This is my second Alias fic, but this is the first time I've just done a   
Timeline set on: After the episode "The Confession"  
Disclaimer: None of these characters nor the show belongs to me.   
  
  
  
I couldn't believe it when I heard it.  
I just couldn't believe it.  
"I was not that agent, Sydney," Jack Bristow had told Sydney. "Your mother was."  
I just went cold. Just like, really cold. I couldn't feel my fingers, or my skin. I felt my heart just plunge right down to my stomach and I turned away from Jack's bruised face. God, I was prepared to beat the living daylights out of him if he had confirmed what I believed and saw---that he killed my father.   
But it turned out to be his wife.  
Sydney's mother.  
God, how could I have made such an accusation? I did the unthinkable along the way; record her statement about what she thought back there. I was so stupid! I got so carried away with the bare thought that Jack was behind my father's sudden murder that I did the unthinkable and even went behind Sydney, the woman who considered me her friend. Hell, I probably lost her trust right there and then.  
I turned to look at Sydney. She was white as a ghost when her father told her who her mother's real identity was. I don't blame her; the woman she looked up to was actually a killer sent by the KGB to kill good CIA officers. Like my father. No one ever suspected her; she was the wife of a good CIA double agent.   
Everyone was fooled.  
How could I have been so blind?  
I study Sydney's face---her hair, her eyes, her skin, her lips. She looked like a princess from one of those fairy tale books that had sprung to life. He never knew someone could look so beautiful in the world. It was also hard to believe that she had half the genes of the person that killed my father.   
It was just too---unreal.   
I got up abruptly. All the eyes in the room, senior or otherwise, came upon me.   
"Vaughn?" Devlin asked calmly. "What are you doing?"  
At the same time, Sydney reached out to touch my hand. I jerked back in surprise, and she looked at me in bewilderment and confusion. For a moment, I was scared out of my wits, as though Sydney was not there but her mother. I could not help remembering the day that CIA told me that my father was not coming home and they were commemorating him.  
God, how I hated it when he told me my father wasn't coming home.   
My stomach felt like it was doing a somersault.  
I just started walking. I couldn't bear to show my raw emotions to them, all of them. "Aw, Vaughn, I know you're angry about this…" Angry? I was downright pissed! No one could understand how I was feeling---maybe Sydney---but otherwise, no one. Now that I know that the killer's face resembled the face of my employee---my friend.   
This is all too weird.  
How could I bear to look at her now that I know who killed my father?  
The door to the conference room slammed behind him and I slam my bolted fists into my pockets. I need some air. I need a long walk and silence. I need to think things through carefully.   
I saw Weiss walking up to me. "You're done already?"  
"I just need a long walk," I reply hotly, trying not to give away my emotions. I give him a faint smile and continue walking away from the conference room. That damned room. The images of the funeral and that damned CIA agent and Jack telling us that it was his wife that killed my father and those agents filled up my head. I wish I never knew who the killer was. I wished I never pulled out the file in the first place.  
I wanted to die right there and then.  
Maybe I can be relocated somewhere else, somewhere away from SD-6 and KBG and all these problems. Back then (gosh, it was only a few months ago, can you believe?), these weren't any of my concerns. Back then, I was just a junior with a great girlfriend and a steady job. It was the good times. Then Sydney Bristow came and turned my world upside down. I admit, it was interesting, having a little more action than usual, but now…  
Now I don't know what the hell I'm doing out here.  
I walk towards the parking lot, ready to jump into my car and just drive somewhere far away from this hellhole of problems. I needed the wind on my face and just some open road. Then I wondered if I would get in trouble but hell, I was already in enough trouble. A little more wouldn't hurt me.   
Maybe I could resign from the CIA.  
"Vaughn!"  
Now my mind is playing tricks on me.   
"Michael!"  
I turned around just as I was about to ignite the engines. It was Sydney, running towards me in her nice little business suit. I thought she was pissed at me for everything that I've done? Nonetheless, she looked bewildered and slightly worried. Worried about me? No, she was probably going to demand what the hell I just did back there. I let go of the key to hear what she had to say before I drove off.  
There went my dramatic exit.  
She sighed as she grabbed onto the car door. "Where are you going?" she asked breathlessly.  
"Somewhere. Anywhere." Except here, but I didn't add it.  
"Look, Vaughn---"  
"Sydney, I am so sorry," I interrupted, before she could make me speechless and dry in the mouth and sympathetic. I just couldn't let it go. "I know you're pissed and you'd probably never forgive for the rest of your and my life but I am so sorry. I didn't mean to reveal all of this in a time like this and I didn't mean to do all the stuff that I did. But I couldn't let go---I had to find out who killed my father once and for all."  
"I understand."  
"No, you don't," I insisted, trying hard not to make all my emotion squirt upward and out. I couldn't let Sydney see me like that. I couldn't show her my deepest and darkest feelings. It made me look like---like some kind of a wuss. Someone told me once that boys don't cry. I didn't want to show her that now. I didn't want to prove to whoever the hell told me that I was a wuss. "I just…I needed to know. I needed to know to put it to rest."  
"I understand, Vaughn," she said, reaching out and taking my hand. It was the same grip that she did when we were at the pier all those weeks ago. I could feel some strange energy enter my body and made me feel slightly better. "I'm so sorry it happened like this…I'm so sorry that my mom…God…" She turned away.  
I got out of the car slowly and it was my turn to comfort her. I took her into my arms and just let her cry it all out. She shuddered under my arms as she started to cry softly. We were both hurt by the news that Jack had dropped on both of us. We both needed to exert those feelings out one way or the other. Who else could we turn to than each other?  
From the corner of my eye, a tear fell down.  
  
~end of fic~ 


End file.
